The Teaching Sham

I am (W)Ron(g).
(W)Ron(g) I am!
 
That (W)Ron(g)-I-am!
That (W)Ron(g)-I-am!
I do not like that (W)Ron(g)-I-am!
 
Do you like
This teaching sham?
I do not like it, (W)Ron(g)-I-am.
I do not like this teaching sham!
 
Would you teach kids here or there?
I would ONLY teach them HERE,
 not THERE.
I WILL NOT teach just anywhere.
I do not like
This teaching sham.
I do not like it, (W)Ron(g)-I-am.
 
Would you teach them in your house?
Would you teach them with a mouse?
 
I’ll ONLY teach them in my house.
I’ll ONLY teach them with a mouse.
I will teach students HERE, NOT THERE.
I WILL NOT teach just anywhere.
I do not like this teaching sham.
I do not like it, (W)Ron(g)-I-am.
Would you teach in a plastic box?
Would you teach a kid in a mask made of socks?
 
Not in a box. Not in their socks.
ONLY IN MY HOUSE
ONLY WITH A MOUSE
I will teach them HERE, not THERE.
I WILL NOT teach just anywhere.
I do not like this teacher sham.
I do not like it, (W)Ron(g)-I-am.
 
Would you? Could you? From your car?
Teach them! Teach them! Here they are.
I will not, shall not, from my car.
 
You may like it. You will see.
You may like it, if spaced by three feet!
 
I will not, shall not, at three feet.
Not from my car! You let me be.
 
I will not teach them in a box.
I will not teach them in their socks.
I will not teach in your schoolhouse.
I will ONLY teach them with a mouse.
I will ONLY teach them HERE, not there.
I WILL NOT teach just anywhere.
I do not like this teaching sham!
I do not like it, (W)Ron(g)-I-am.
 
In rain! In rain! In sun or rain!
Could you, would you, in the rain?
 
Not in the rain! Not at three feet!
Not in my car! (W)Ron(g)! Let me be!
 
I will not, shall not, in a box.
I will not, shall not, in their socks.
I will not teach without a mouse.
I will not teach in a schoolhouse.
I will ONLY teach them HERE, not there.
I will NOT just teach them anywhere.
I do not like this teaching sham.
I do not like it, (W)Ron(g)-I-am.
 
Say! In the park? Out in a park!
Would you, could you, in a park?
I would not, could not, in a park.
 
Would you take them from a train?
I would not take them from a train.
Not in a park. Not in the rain.
Not in my car. Not from three feet.
I do not like this, don’t you see?!
ONLY my house. Not in a box.
WITH a mouse. Not in their socks.
I will ONLY teach them HERE, not there
I will not teach just anywhere!
 
You do not like this teaching sham?
I do not like it, (W)Ron(g)-I-am.
 
Could you, would you, with a shield?
I will not, shall not, with a shield!
Would you, could you, on a field?
I will not, shall not, on a field.
I will not teach them with a shield.
 
I will not teach them in the rain.
I do not want them on a train.
Not in the park! Not from three feet!
Not in my car! You let me be!
I will not teach them in a box.
I will not teach them wearing socks.
I’ll only teach from my own house.
I’ll only teach them with a mouse.
I will not teach them here or there.
I will not teach just anywhere!
I do not like this teaching sham!
I do not like this, (W)Ron(g)-I-am!
 
You do not like it. So you say.
Try though! Try it! And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
 
(W)Ron(g)! If you will let me be,
I will try it. You will see.
Say! I like this teaching Sham!
But I’m feeling ill now, (W)Ron(g)-I-am!
I shouldn’t have taught if not remote.
I shouldn’t have come to your clown show!
 
I will not teach like this again.
Not in a park. Not from a train.
Not from my car. Not spread three feet.
This is so bad, so bad, you see!
 
So I won’t teach them in a box.
And I won’t teach kids wearing socks.
And I won’t teach in your schoolhouse.
And I won’t teach without a mouse.

I’ll ONLY teach them HERE, not THERE.
I WILL NOT TEACH JUST ANYWHERE!
 I still don’t like this teaching Sham!
Get it together! (W)Ron(g) and Crockoran!
8/26/2020
Adapted by Gladys D. Smith-Mangan
from Green Eggs and Ham
By: Dr. Suess/ Theodore Geisel

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